Into the Night Read online

  First published by Claire Bennett 2021

  Copyright © 2021 by Claire Bennett

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

  This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

  Claire Bennett asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

  Claire Bennett has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-party Internet Websites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on such Websites is, or will remain, accurate or appropriate.

  Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. All brand names and product names used in this book and on its cover are trade names, service marks, trademarks and registered trademarks of their respective owners. The publishers and the book are not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book. None of the companies referenced within the book have endorsed the book.

  Second edition

  Editing by Nicola (Nicky) Lovick

  Artwork by Caracolla

  https://ckbennettauthor.com

  Instagram: @ck.bennett

  Chapters

  1. To New Beginnings

  2. Yours Entirely

  3. When One Door Closes

  4. Chérie

  5. Playing with Fire

  6. Tit for Tat

  7. Let Me in

  8. William’s Doom

  9. Sensational Story

  10. They’re in My Way

  11. Birth of a Star

  12. Only a Name

  13. Milestone

  14. Sweet Vengeance

  15. The Curse of Red Jumpers

  16. Hard Limit

  17. All My Fantasies

  18. Let’s Begin, Shall We?

  19. Any Youth in the World

  20. Bon Appétit

  21. Bulletproof

  22. I’d Rather Have the Honour

  23. Open Book

  24. It’s Not You, It’s Me

  25. I’m Your King

  26. Where You Belong

  27. I Only Have Eyes for You

  28. Seven Billion People

  About the Cover

  To A., for being more than I would have thought possible.

  Acknowledgements

  Again, I need to give a special thanks to my partner, A. You are an exceptional and exemplary man. I am so grateful to have caught your eye, and to have the privilege of being able to tease and spend time with you anytime I like.

  I love you.

  I also need to thank author Darla Cassic again, who is always there to offer sound advice and insight anytime I need it. You’re amazing. Thanks, also, for your Frenchness, which has added further substance to this book.

  I’d also like to thank my siblings, M., H., and B., for being prime comedians, the best chefs (honestly, wow), for being exceedingly annoying on purpose, for spotting the most humorous ironies in situations, for offering impeccable banter, for humbling me, and for always being interested in entertaining philosophical and intellectual debates with me for hours on end. You have taught – and continue to teach – me so much.

  I am honoured to be your sister.

  Thank you, Nicola (Nicky) Lovick, for being such a wonderful editor to work with. I’ve learnt so much from you.

  One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.

  – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

  1

  ______________

  To New Beginnings

  The shattered look in his eyes haunted me. Through their warm brown colour, I’d seen his heart break into pieces. My best friend; heartbroken, because of me.

  A shudder ran through me, my hand gripping the pole on the train. Biting into my lower lip, I fought back the urge to cry. What a sight that would have been for these poor strangers. A grown woman, noisy tears erupting from her as though someone close to her had just passed away into the unknown.

  Perhaps I was being dramatic, but I did draw a parallel to death when it came to my ruined friendship with Aaron. Who knew if he’d ever want to see me again? Then again, he hadn’t told me to stay away from him for ever. He had only said he would require time, so perhaps death was too final a concept to signify what I felt. Either way, I would respect his need for space.

  I missed him already. We had shared so many fond memories, and I had thought a lifetime of them remained to be crafted. To think it might not happen was brutal. For three years he’d been one of my closest friends, a companion I had never wanted to lose. I wasn’t one to get attached to people easily, but Aaron I was certainly attached to. He had slipped under my skin and straight into my heart, though the space he had carved out for himself couldn’t offer what he wanted.

  What would I tell my parents? They had never been aware of our arrangement. However, they were aware he was one of the few precious people in my life, so questions would certainly ensue. And if there was one thing that I couldn’t bring myself to do, it was to lie to my parents.

  Trying to suppress the rising rage of my emotions, I blew my cheeks out and released a loud breath. I’d have to tell Olivia as well, but, since I hated crying in front of others, I would delay it till my feelings had settled somewhat and I was confident that I would be able to speak without being interrupted by sobs.

  Then there was dear Mary-Anne, Aaron’s mother. What would he tell her? Would he tell her anything at all? Like my parents, I knew she would be asking questions if she heard nothing about me for a while. In the end, it had been somewhat of a tradition that Aaron brought his closest friends to dinner with her once a month. Now that I was no longer invited, she would surely grow suspicious.

  I hoped he wouldn’t paint me in an awful light. I adored Mary-Anne, so the idea that she might think badly of me after this was adding further pain to my misery.

  I sighed. At least I still had Olivia and Jason. I supposed I had William, too, although he was hardly the person that I would seek comfort in about this. Knowing him, he would probably be over the moon to hear that Aaron and I had cooled our friendship, and I wouldn’t be able to stand the concealed satisfaction in his eyes.

  I was convinced he wouldn’t be able to sympathise with my distress sincerely. To him, Aaron was a threat. So his withdrawal from my life was probably a dream come true. However, to me, it was anything but. He was my best friend and knew me better than most. A friendship like ours was irreplaceable, and the recent absence of it brought sorrow that I would require plenty of time to recover from.

  But, like I always did, I suffered in silence. I hadn’t told Jason anything yet, and I dreaded having to. When I’d arrived home after visiting Aaron yesterday, I had shut myself into my bedroom and locked the door. Jason had been out for dinner with Jon and Stephen, and I’d pretended to be asleep when he got home and knocked on my door. He’d tried to open it; he even called my name, but I hadn’t answered.

  I was sure he had found it strange that it had been locked. After all, I usually kept it open in case he wanted company while asleep. Questions about my deviation from the norm were likely to come my way the instant I arrived home
from work today, but perhaps I would have recovered a small portion of myself by then so that I’d be ready to answer them.

  My low mood persisted as I entered through the Day & Night building’s revolving door on Cannon Street. It was half seven, so I had arrived earlier than usual, but I’d had poor, restless sleep and was already awake when my alarm rang at half six. While part of me wasn’t looking forward to seeing William again so soon after my conversation with Aaron, I hoped his company would treat me to a few moments of forgetfulness.

  After settling into my chair by his desk, I wrote down my to-do list for the day. I had to stop by Clifford Paints to collect more files before our meeting with Craft Interior’s lawyers on Friday, so I thought I’d make the trip shortly after lunch. I wished they’d stored their data virtually rather than physically. It would have saved us all a lot of time, and paper. Then again, if the congeneric merger went according to plan, the new company would certainly opt for a virtual solution to store their data – hopefully.

  I knew William had a meeting with Bo Zhang – Clifford Paints’ financial advisor – and the representatives from the bank this afternoon, but I supposed he would fill me in later. Right now, I had too much grunt work to look over regarding the due diligence process for the transaction between Elixerion Pharmaceuticals and Porter BioScience.

  My first weeks here had consisted of getting familiar with everything. Even though I was still a novice, William had seen me capable of managing both my work and time somewhat independently, which I appreciated. He wasn’t the type of supervisor to micromanage. Instead, he encouraged independence, and that was an effective method to employ on personalities like mine.

  After writing my to-do list, I got straight to working on the material William had emailed me yesterday, and I was grateful for the mental escape. I did not want to face up to my feelings right now. They were scattered into a seemingly unsolvable mess while I wondered if I’d ever know Aaron again.

  Moments later, I heard the door open behind me. My fingers paused on my keyboard for a beat, but I didn’t turn to acknowledge him, as I was afraid that the sight of him would trigger my tears to return.

  “Here already?” he questioned, amazed.

  Looking at the time in the corner of my screen, I saw it was a quarter to eight.

  “Mm,” I said with a slight nod.

  His familiar footsteps drew nearer, but instead of rounding his desk like I had expected him to, he grabbed the available chair beside mine. Leaving his bag on the desk, he pulled out the seat and sank into it.

  Curiosity drove me to glance over. With a vague smile on his mouth, he studied me. The sight of him made my heart tingle, but it was a bittersweet sensation. Though I did smile, it wasn’t from the heart.

  A worried look crossed his face then. Leaning forward, he put a Starbucks coffee on his desk absentmindedly. At that moment in time, I didn’t have the strength to look at it, or him. Instead, I relocated my focus to my laptop.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, gently, and continued to analyse my profile.

  I shook my head and willed for my tears not to surface.

  “Cara. I can tell something’s wrong. What’s the matter?”

  Again, I shook my head, but my feelings ran amok within me, so I could no longer concentrate on the words on my screen. Instead, my entire focus was on keeping a lid on my emotions.

  I sensed him watch me for another minute until he reached forward to place his large, warm hand on my thigh. “I won’t ask again, but if you find yourself wanting to talk about it, I’m all yours.” He squeezed.

  I’d never seen this side of him before, and it nearly devastated my efforts to maintain my equilibrium on the surface. He was being unbearably tender, and it made my heart throb.

  “If you want to cancel our date, I’ll understand,” he continued, and I was shocked by his statement. For the first time, he was placing me before himself. I knew how much our date meant to him, how hard he had strived for it, and now he was willing to cancel it? Without even knowing the reason behind my misery?

  His searing gaze burnt my profile as he tried to gauge my thoughts. Hoping to be relieved from it, I shook my head again. I didn’t want to cancel our date. Right now, nothing was more tempting than letting William distract me. In all honesty, what I would have loved more than anything was to discover genuine sympathy in him while I wept in his embrace.

  “I don’t like seeing you like this,” he said softly and took my hand.

  “I’ll be fine,” I mumbled. It was all I could manage.

  “That tone is not very convincing.” He sandwiched my hand between his. “Let me know, yeah?”

  I still hadn’t looked at him when I nodded my head, but I heard him sigh. Lifting my hand to his mouth, he gave the back of it a few pecks before he released it to face his day at work. As he was walking away, a tear leaked from my eye, but I rushed to wipe it away before he could notice. Just as he rounded his desk, my eyes flickered to the Starbucks cup to avoid his gaze.

  To new beginnings, it read. I smiled. Genuinely, this time. Unwittingly, he’d told me exactly what I needed to hear. To new beginnings, indeed. Aaron hurt, but I’d chosen to give William a chance, and now I had to embrace my decision. I couldn’t let my hurt over Aaron ruin what I could build with William. That would be letting the past ruin the future, and I was not inclined to allow it.

  We worked with a razor-sharp focus that I, ironically, found relaxing. Neither of us said much, but, just before lunch, William broke the quiet by saying he had to consult Lawrence about some tax issue he had discovered, which might pose a liability in terms of the deal between Elixerion Pharmaceuticals and Porter BioScience.

  After his departure, I worked until my stomach reminded me that it was time for lunch. Hearing it complain, I turned my head and noticed that Elisabeth hadn’t gone to the canteen yet. I considered whether to approach her, but at the same time, I wanted to wait for William. However, I knew Lawrence specialised in matters relating to corporate tax and had an office in the floor below ours, in the tax department, so perhaps William meant to go straight to the canteen after consulting him.

  Standing up, I decided not to wait. As I made my way over to Ellie’s desk, she caught my eye and raised a finger in the air. “Hang on. I’ve only got one page to go.”

  With a nod, I sat down next to her desk and zoned out of the present. Seeming to understand that something was on my mind today, she sent me a curious glance, but didn’t pry, which I was grateful for.

  It didn’t take long before Andy exited his office to approach Elisabeth’s desk. I ignored most of their conversation because I couldn’t be bothered with socialising today, but, eventually, Andy’s jovial presence barged into my brooding, melancholy zone.

  “Seriously, you need to try these.” He shoved a box of chocolates into my face, which a client had brought with them from Belgium. “The best I’ve ever tasted. Come on. Where’s your bravado, Cara? Did Will finally manage to kill it off?”

  I glared at him. “Christ, Andy. Give me a break, yeah?”

  Taken aback by my hostile tone, he blinked. “Damn, what’s with the fire-breathing dragon? You on your period?”

  My glare persisted. “Is that what you think every time a girl doesn’t smile? We’re allowed to be unsmiling, you know.”

  He hollowed his cheeks as he sucked on the chocolate, and, after swallowing it, glanced at Ellie. “She alright?”

  “Andy,” she replied with a sigh.

  He shrugged his shoulders and threw another chocolate into his gaping mouth. “Only saying. Every time Chloe’s like that, there’s either something serious on her mind, or she’s on her period – or both.”

  “And after ten years of it, you still haven’t learnt how to treat it?” I fired back, annoyed. “Poor Chloe, having to deal with you.”

  “Whoa.” His lips curled up into a
humoured grin. “Shots fired, indeed.”

  “Andy, leave her alone,” William grumbled from my right, and his presence startled me. Whipping my head around, I saw him arrive from the lifts whilst scowling at his best friend. Meanwhile, his graceful deportment filled my stomach with ticklish sensations.

  Dropping the box of chocolates onto Ellie’s desk, Andy threw his hands up. “I was only offering her chocolate, mate, and she chewed my head straight off. She’s all yours. I’d like to keep at least my cock while I still can.”

  William’s lips twisted with amusement. “We both know you’re a dickless twat already, so I wouldn’t worry if I were you. They any good?” Halting in front of Ellie’s desk, he reached for a piece. While he unwrapped it, Andy chuckled at his banter and smacked his arm, playfully.

  Hyperfocused on William, I watched as he placed the sweet in his tempting mouth. Saliva gathered in mine when I saw his strong jaw flex as he chewed.

  “They’re better if you suck them,” I murmured. “Lasts longer.”

  Andy pressed his lips together before he spun around to face away. A heartbeat later, laughter burst out of his mouth.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Andy. When was the last time you got laid?” William muttered.

  “Not recently, clearly,” Ellie said with a giggle.

  Andy’s laughter ceased instantaneously. “Well, Will’s always cock-blocking me, so what’s a man supposed to do?”

  “Fix his relationship,” William replied and reached for another. An irrepressible smile made its way onto my lips. Again, I was reminded of his admirable virtue – unquestionable loyalty.

  Before placing the chocolate in his mouth, he studied the texture of it. “These really are quite good. Where did you get them? Are they Belgian?”

  “Yeah. Client,” Andy said and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Anyway, lunch?”

  William nodded his head as he resorted to sucking on the chocolate this time around, and the sight made my mouth bend into another small smile. He was heeding my advice. Headstrong as he was, I hadn’t expected that. Then, suddenly, his gaze shifted to me. Surprised by his attention, I stared back, wide-eyed, feeling caught. When he winked, it said more than a thousand words ever could. Completely smitten, I nearly sighed – what a man.